It might sound like the title of a Karan Johar movie! But, its NOT!
Hmmm…I will give you 30 seconds to guess what I am referring to!....Well, if you are not getting any answer….here is your clue…
This section of people would have crossed all our lives at least once! Still not getting it??? Ok….the answer is Karnataka Kerala Traffic Police!!!
Yes…I have had my own bitter and better experiences with this group. And I would not be doing justice to those experiences, if I am trying to fit it all in one blog.
So, my plan of action is to divide it in to several parts and post it whenever I embrace those fond memories.
Here goes the part 1…
I am scared of traffic police, would be an understatement of my feelings towards them! Errrr…actually…I am S**T scared of those folks…Its not that they have done anything bad or evil…but, its like how this “poochandi”(an invisible villain who is called for scaring & making the kids eat) is for kids!
The moment I see them, my heart bursts, my brain erupts, my stomach burns & my whole body trembles!
Now that, u have a vague (note the word) idea of how bad I will look (& behave) when I see this “you-know-who” folks, let me get in to the story track.
Once upon a time….(Stop it!! Y can’t a story start with…just last week???)
Just last week…I got caught by these 2 TPs for taking a U turn in a “U-turn-not-allowed” bend! The moment I took the U-turn, I saw these folks, gesturing me to stop my vehicle..I gestured back (acting) surprisingly (looking at all the sides) and asked “ME???” u mean….”MEE???”.
Unfortunately…They saw me & meant ME & ME only :-(
I stopped my vehicle.
I was asked Rs. Six Hundred Only.
I said “Sir, please…excuse maadi. I won’t repeat it. Please…please…”
The amount was reduced to Rs. Four Hundred Only.
I said “Sir, please…I have a baby. And I need to buy pampers for him. Please…Please…Please”
The amount was reduced to Rs. Three Hundred Only.
I said “Sir, please…Swalpa adjust maadi. I will not repeat it. Promise! (I really said that! Can you believe it?) Please…Please…Please”
The amount was reduced to Rs. Two Hundred Only.
With shaking hands, I gave Rupees Two Hundred.
Surprise! Surprise!
He returned a 100 rupee note!!! :-)
Adah!!! Traffic Police-laeyum nallavanga irukkaangappa!*
TS (Translation script)* - Wah! There are good people among traffic police also!
PS – Due to the time & space constrain, I could not include the exact number of “please”-es I used in this real conversation.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
It happens only in India!
1) A huge traffic jam on NH 47 road – reason – 2 bulls fighting on the road…and 3 cows (along with lots of “human” monkeys) watching it!
2) “suda suda…vada…vada” – a yummy treat with the sweat & blood (literally) of the sellers in India’s largest employer’s office (of course! Indian railway stations!)
3) People forcefully feeding the “ganesha” idols – reason – He is bored of “abishekams” and in a mood to “drink” the milk directly!
4) Autoriksha fellow started the bargain with “Rs.250”. I ended it with “Rs.100” (Mind you – he started it)
5) People quite literally treating public places like “en paattan loo” (my grandfather’s loo)
6) God proposes – Shiv sena disposes
7) Title holders (sigarathin sigaram, makkalin magan…etc) in wood kingdoms (bollywood, tollywood,sandalwood…) …contd
8) Contd…..God envying these title holders because they get better milk “abhishekams” and “deeparaadhanais”…
9) One way, two way, three way, four way….there is no end to the number of ways on our roads.
10) Beggar street – with uneducated beggars fighting for money ….Parliament – with educated buggers fighting for…uhhhmmmm…money!
11) Pay extra “ticket” money and become God’s “most privileged priority customer…ooppsss…worshipper”
12) Except love….u can get anything through bribe!
13) People have seen God – God of cricket – his name is Sachin!
14) Can u sing, can u dance, can u cook? – 3 most common questions in the interviews here…hold on…I am talking about the interview for the bride position! Only one qualification required – Dowry! Yep…u gotch it!
15) Didn’t you know? More than farmers, Software engineers in India are affected bcoz of the climate change/recession/global warming…
16) It will be difficult to spot at least one difference between 20 school kids packed in an auto and sent to school and 20 goats packed in an auto and sent to butcher!
17) “Godman” scandals more than politicians scandals
18) Number of languages used – r u kidding? U really want me to count that?
19) ARR – enough said! Rest is history! Came, Composed, Conquered!
20) Minimum time to close a law suit & pass the judgement -10…no….15…nono….20 yrs…uphhhh…chuck it!
21) People coming in BMW waiting and having food from "Paati kadai" kaiaendhi bhavan (road side shop)
22) Local trains carrying people more than it can handle.
Oh God! I LOVE INDIA!:-)
2) “suda suda…vada…vada” – a yummy treat with the sweat & blood (literally) of the sellers in India’s largest employer’s office (of course! Indian railway stations!)
3) People forcefully feeding the “ganesha” idols – reason – He is bored of “abishekams” and in a mood to “drink” the milk directly!
4) Autoriksha fellow started the bargain with “Rs.250”. I ended it with “Rs.100” (Mind you – he started it)
5) People quite literally treating public places like “en paattan loo” (my grandfather’s loo)
6) God proposes – Shiv sena disposes
7) Title holders (sigarathin sigaram, makkalin magan…etc) in wood kingdoms (bollywood, tollywood,sandalwood…) …contd
8) Contd…..God envying these title holders because they get better milk “abhishekams” and “deeparaadhanais”…
9) One way, two way, three way, four way….there is no end to the number of ways on our roads.
10) Beggar street – with uneducated beggars fighting for money ….Parliament – with educated buggers fighting for…uhhhmmmm…money!
11) Pay extra “ticket” money and become God’s “most privileged priority customer…ooppsss…worshipper”
12) Except love….u can get anything through bribe!
13) People have seen God – God of cricket – his name is Sachin!
14) Can u sing, can u dance, can u cook? – 3 most common questions in the interviews here…hold on…I am talking about the interview for the bride position! Only one qualification required – Dowry! Yep…u gotch it!
15) Didn’t you know? More than farmers, Software engineers in India are affected bcoz of the climate change/recession/global warming…
16) It will be difficult to spot at least one difference between 20 school kids packed in an auto and sent to school and 20 goats packed in an auto and sent to butcher!
17) “Godman” scandals more than politicians scandals
18) Number of languages used – r u kidding? U really want me to count that?
19) ARR – enough said! Rest is history! Came, Composed, Conquered!
20) Minimum time to close a law suit & pass the judgement -10…no….15…nono….20 yrs…uphhhh…chuck it!
21) People coming in BMW waiting and having food from "Paati kadai" kaiaendhi bhavan (road side shop)
22) Local trains carrying people more than it can handle.
Oh God! I LOVE INDIA!:-)
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