Kamalam: "Easwaraa...(our same old Easwaran) I wish at least this Jhaatakam (a.k.a Horoscope) matches with our daughter's!
Swaminathan: "This is mailed by Ammanji* Raaman...He is very wise in all these. I am sure, this will match..."
Kamalam: "Hmmm...U said the same when ur Athanga* Raji sent an horoscope last time. Then, what happened? This is the 25th horoscope we are checking for namma Seetha. Easwaraa...will tonsure ivvaalodu head if this horoscope matches..."(Swami gave her a "who-gave-you-permission-to-tonsure-my-head?" look)
Swami: "Seri,seri...now,don't raise my BP. Let us see what our Jyothsiar (ä person who "ana-lies-ses" the horoscopes to match them)has to say.."
Jyothsiar (with a "300 rs guaranteed today" thought & million paisa smile): Aaha...aarakkum idhu vandhurukkarthu? Thaango...jaathakam thaango...baeshaa paathoodalaam...
Swami: "We liked the profile. Payyan (proposed groom) is earning 25 lakhs. They have 3 cars. 3 houses....adhum individual houses...idhavida nalla proposal will not come for our Seetha. If she is lucky enuf, this will match...."
Jyothsiar: "Kavalayae padaanthungo..ippo, i will check and tell u...whether our Seetha is lucky or not! {He ana-lies-ses the horoscopes...rows & columns...vertically & horizontally...upside down...in & out....} baesh...baesh...9/10 match aavarthu...i have never seen such a porutham (match) in my entire life...raaghu is sitting under kaethu and in between kumbam & meenam...so...no worries...They will live 100 years happily married and will have thousands of kids. Such a nice match I say***!"
Kamalam had all "happy" and "ready-to-come-anytime-without-glycerin" tears.
Swami immediately had ä day dream of Seetha going in 3 cars...
Athanga Raji & Ammanji Raaman got the news. Athais, athimbars,chithees,chithappas,maamas,maamees...everyone got the news.
"Edhukkum...oru second opinion kaetukungo...." all suggested (with a burning stomach)
Kamalam & Swami got 2nd & 3rd opinion. "Best match seen till date" was the opinion again and again.
Both uttered "ëaswara....now we will finalize the date at the earliest".
"Seetha is very lucky" & "How lucky Seetha is?" seemed to be the only 2 lines used in all the village conversations thereafter...the lady luck got bored of being used/called sooo many times a day.
Seetha became a celebrity overnight...all thanks to her "25 lakhs ATHM" (any time husband's money), soon to be owned 3 cars & 3 individual houses.
All girls mothers in the village started disturbing "ëashwaran" demanding similar alliances for their daughters.
Well...The W-day arrived.
Ellaam mangalakaram...
At nite...Seetha entered the room and sat on the bed near Subramanian alias Subbu. Subbu hesitated and moved a little further.
Subbu : "ühum...hmmm....well...i want us to be just frenz...i am in love with Karthik. Hope u understand!!!"
Seetha was "horror(scope)" stuck I say***!!!
* -> Athanga & Ammanji - Some funny relationships in tamil I & B square.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Yes Boss!
Bosses are born nice.Expectations ruin them!
Like "maatha,pitha,guru,dheivam",another inevitable person who should be in this list is "bossu"...In my humbling (trembling/terrifying/manda kaanjufying) experiences with so many of that species, i have come to a conclusion on their "types".
New born type - These are the just promoted bosses who were working in your same level/band/rank in their pre-promotion phase.So, unfortunately they know all the thillumullu / golmaal that people in the team and office are indulged in.So, its very difficult to act nice with these people.. primarily because, they talk to you with a "i-know-what-you-did-with-the-last-boss?" look. Also, they come with the pressure of tsunami, as they want to show the world that, they are better than the previous ones.
He-he-ha-ha-ho-ho type - These people shout/insult/pressurize you with a a 24/7 killing "no-sense-joke" laugh.The worst part is they expect you to laugh along with them.
For eg:
You - Sir/Ma'am,Can you please explain the details in that excel?
Him/Her - I think you get a kick out of it when you make me do such things! hehehahahoho!
Well..according to him/her.....that was supposed to be a joke!
And you end up with a zero sense of humor after going through this gruesome torture of wanting to laugh unnecessarily!
This way/that way type - For any company related doubts, ask team member V.For any competitor related doubts, ask team member W. For any Product related doubts , ask team member X, For any technology related doubts, ask team member Y. For any client related doubts, ask team member Z.
For all your doubts their answer will be like an answering machine of a call center. They are just not (ready to be) available to guide you...for reasons being feeling sleepy, bad hair do day, bad spouse day,bad cricket match day, bad boss day (!),bad Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday.....
God father/mother - They are "father/mother/boss" under one roof category! They assume themselves to be your god father/mother and guides you even in your personal issues like choosing the brand of milk/newspaper for your family. But, it comes as a package. Along with this wonderful guidance will come the request for booking their flight tickets, taking a print out from the printer, taking a xerox copy of some document,(both printer & xerox machines are near his /her table BTW) book table for his family & business lunch......(list is miscellaneous and never ending)!
Once upon a time type - For whatever you achieve, this boss will give you a killer sarcastic look which says "duh! this is nothing..once upon a time, i have achieved more than this!" There is no word called "appreciation" in his dictionary.
"Spy"ce type - These bosses will doubt you, your talent, your potential, your intention, your experience, your ambition, your behaviour....everything about YOU! This guy will have a spy in your team who will report the happenings of the day to him at EOD. In his/her eyes, you are the "bad man/woman".
"Hutch" dog type - wherever you go he/she will follow....thru phone/sms/mail/ping/messenger/blackberry...(name it)...it doesnt matter whether u r on leave/vacation/its 2 AM/u r in loo/u r in death bed....they give a damn!!!
Well...so...uuhhhh....Good boss is a myth. There are only bad & ugly bosses :)
What say boss?
Like "maatha,pitha,guru,dheivam",another inevitable person who should be in this list is "bossu"...In my humbling (trembling/terrifying/manda kaanjufying) experiences with so many of that species, i have come to a conclusion on their "types".
New born type - These are the just promoted bosses who were working in your same level/band/rank in their pre-promotion phase.So, unfortunately they know all the thillumullu / golmaal that people in the team and office are indulged in.So, its very difficult to act nice with these people.. primarily because, they talk to you with a "i-know-what-you-did-with-the-last-boss?" look. Also, they come with the pressure of tsunami, as they want to show the world that, they are better than the previous ones.
He-he-ha-ha-ho-ho type - These people shout/insult/pressurize you with a a 24/7 killing "no-sense-joke" laugh.The worst part is they expect you to laugh along with them.
For eg:
You - Sir/Ma'am,Can you please explain the details in that excel?
Him/Her - I think you get a kick out of it when you make me do such things! hehehahahoho!
Well..according to him/her.....that was supposed to be a joke!
And you end up with a zero sense of humor after going through this gruesome torture of wanting to laugh unnecessarily!
This way/that way type - For any company related doubts, ask team member V.For any competitor related doubts, ask team member W. For any Product related doubts , ask team member X, For any technology related doubts, ask team member Y. For any client related doubts, ask team member Z.
For all your doubts their answer will be like an answering machine of a call center. They are just not (ready to be) available to guide you...for reasons being feeling sleepy, bad hair do day, bad spouse day,bad cricket match day, bad boss day (!),bad Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday.....
God father/mother - They are "father/mother/boss" under one roof category! They assume themselves to be your god father/mother and guides you even in your personal issues like choosing the brand of milk/newspaper for your family. But, it comes as a package. Along with this wonderful guidance will come the request for booking their flight tickets, taking a print out from the printer, taking a xerox copy of some document,(both printer & xerox machines are near his /her table BTW) book table for his family & business lunch......(list is miscellaneous and never ending)!
Once upon a time type - For whatever you achieve, this boss will give you a killer sarcastic look which says "duh! this is nothing..once upon a time, i have achieved more than this!" There is no word called "appreciation" in his dictionary.
"Spy"ce type - These bosses will doubt you, your talent, your potential, your intention, your experience, your ambition, your behaviour....everything about YOU! This guy will have a spy in your team who will report the happenings of the day to him at EOD. In his/her eyes, you are the "bad man/woman".
"Hutch" dog type - wherever you go he/she will follow....thru phone/sms/mail/ping/messenger/blackberry...(name it)...it doesnt matter whether u r on leave/vacation/its 2 AM/u r in loo/u r in death bed....they give a damn!!!
Well...so...uuhhhh....Good boss is a myth. There are only bad & ugly bosses :)
What say boss?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
JK Rowling: The fringe benefits of failure | Video on TED.com
One of the best speeches i have ever come across!!! Its mesmerizing...simple...yet powerful.Happy Viewing!
JK Rowling: The fringe benefits of failure | Video on TED.com
JK Rowling: The fringe benefits of failure | Video on TED.com
Monday, February 8, 2010
All Eashwaran paathuppaan!!!
Disclaimer : Meant for tamil readers. Others, Pls read it with the help of a human translator.
"Appa, amma...We want to adopt a kozhanthai..." Krishnan (Kichu) confessed their wish...
Vekatachalam looked up from the death column page of the India's no 1 malayalam news paper >"Enna da?? adoptiona? Namma famililaya???..no! no! no need for adoption and all! andha easwaran will definitely bless our family with a baby. we just need to wait...ethryao avvaalukku even after 15 years kozhantha porakkarthu...its only been 8years for you now...so, let us wait till andha easwaran gives us one!illaena namakku koduthu vachathu athradhaan nu nenachukkalam" Venkatachalam retorted.
Vishaalam stopped cutting the vegetables and stared at Kichu and Kavitha (Kavi)...then continued her task. But with an expression of cutting her fingers instead of vegetables "Innum naan enna ellam paakarthukku irukko bhagavaanae?" the size of the cutting pieces got bigger and bigger..."adhukkudhaan annakkae Bhuvanaava kalyanam pannikka chonnaen...hmmm....naan chonnatha aaru kaekkaraa??" she murmured..
Seshambaal paati played her part as well "kollu paeran paethiya paathu kann-adaikkalaam-unu nenachaen...hmm....andha aashayellam ippo illaipa"....she resumed her task of podichifying the murukku...
"illaippa...innum how long to wait? so, adopt panradhu thaan nallathunnu padarathu"..Kichu continued his statement as if his appa,amma & paati have never spoken...but, his continued statements were ignored continuously.
"indha kaalathu kozhanthaigal padichaanu choliyuttu, oru use-uum illai...all educated, but not respecting the culture..they want to adopt a kid it seems" Venkatachalam shared the grief news with his "VRS" gang alias (Vambu Romba Super)gang.
"US la vaelai panraanu cholliyittu oru use-uum illai...all educated, but not respecting the culture..kichu wants to adopt a tamil kid it seems" Seshadri (VRS member) was more than willing to share this news with his wife.
"Kaineraya sambaadhikkaraan nu cholliyittu oru use-uum illai...all educated, but not respecting the culture..kichu wants to adopt a muslim kid it seems" Mrs.Seshadri didn't forget to add and change the script while sharing the vambu with her "DHV" gang alias (Desperate Housewives for Vambu) gang.
So...the news of adoption spread like Google search engine, with the slight change in the "to be adopted kid" being from "A-Z" religions with an exception of B & I (you know why)!
Kichu & Kavi returned to US.
Called home after 3 weeks and shared the news - "Kavi is pregnant" alias (adoption idea dropped)
Each month Kavi's fotos with different stomach sizes (in pretty maternity gowns)were sent to all @ home.
They decided to have the delivery in US itself. They said they can manage.
It was a baby girl!
Vysali (alias Vishaalam i.e paati's name) - the new born landed home 3 months after her birth.
"Kozhantha appidi kichuva maadhiriyae irukku" - Kichu's family side roared.
"Kozhanthaya paatha, kavithaava paakanda.appidiyae kaviyodu face cut" - Kavi's family protested.
All shubham...
But, Kichu looked at kavi and winked with a wicked smile and "C, didn't i tell u?" look.
Yaennaa.....Vysali was Eashwaran's blessing, through a system called adoption!!!
PS: Pillows are available in all sizes & shapes(to suit the stomach sizes):-)
(PS)PS : Eashwaran alias God Shiva
"Appa, amma...We want to adopt a kozhanthai..." Krishnan (Kichu) confessed their wish...
Vekatachalam looked up from the death column page of the India's no 1 malayalam news paper >"Enna da?? adoptiona? Namma famililaya???..no! no! no need for adoption and all! andha easwaran will definitely bless our family with a baby. we just need to wait...ethryao avvaalukku even after 15 years kozhantha porakkarthu...its only been 8years for you now...so, let us wait till andha easwaran gives us one!illaena namakku koduthu vachathu athradhaan nu nenachukkalam" Venkatachalam retorted.
Vishaalam stopped cutting the vegetables and stared at Kichu and Kavitha (Kavi)...then continued her task. But with an expression of cutting her fingers instead of vegetables "Innum naan enna ellam paakarthukku irukko bhagavaanae?" the size of the cutting pieces got bigger and bigger..."adhukkudhaan annakkae Bhuvanaava kalyanam pannikka chonnaen...hmmm....naan chonnatha aaru kaekkaraa??" she murmured..
Seshambaal paati played her part as well "kollu paeran paethiya paathu kann-adaikkalaam-unu nenachaen...hmm....andha aashayellam ippo illaipa"....she resumed her task of podichifying the murukku...
"illaippa...innum how long to wait? so, adopt panradhu thaan nallathunnu padarathu"..Kichu continued his statement as if his appa,amma & paati have never spoken...but, his continued statements were ignored continuously.
"indha kaalathu kozhanthaigal padichaanu choliyuttu, oru use-uum illai...all educated, but not respecting the culture..they want to adopt a kid it seems" Venkatachalam shared the grief news with his "VRS" gang alias (Vambu Romba Super)gang.
"US la vaelai panraanu cholliyittu oru use-uum illai...all educated, but not respecting the culture..kichu wants to adopt a tamil kid it seems" Seshadri (VRS member) was more than willing to share this news with his wife.
"Kaineraya sambaadhikkaraan nu cholliyittu oru use-uum illai...all educated, but not respecting the culture..kichu wants to adopt a muslim kid it seems" Mrs.Seshadri didn't forget to add and change the script while sharing the vambu with her "DHV" gang alias (Desperate Housewives for Vambu) gang.
So...the news of adoption spread like Google search engine, with the slight change in the "to be adopted kid" being from "A-Z" religions with an exception of B & I (you know why)!
Kichu & Kavi returned to US.
Called home after 3 weeks and shared the news - "Kavi is pregnant" alias (adoption idea dropped)
Each month Kavi's fotos with different stomach sizes (in pretty maternity gowns)were sent to all @ home.
They decided to have the delivery in US itself. They said they can manage.
It was a baby girl!
Vysali (alias Vishaalam i.e paati's name) - the new born landed home 3 months after her birth.
"Kozhantha appidi kichuva maadhiriyae irukku" - Kichu's family side roared.
"Kozhanthaya paatha, kavithaava paakanda.appidiyae kaviyodu face cut" - Kavi's family protested.
All shubham...
But, Kichu looked at kavi and winked with a wicked smile and "C, didn't i tell u?" look.
Yaennaa.....Vysali was Eashwaran's blessing, through a system called adoption!!!
PS: Pillows are available in all sizes & shapes(to suit the stomach sizes):-)
(PS)PS : Eashwaran alias God Shiva
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