When i think of this topic, the first thing that comes to my mind is the below scene from Thenali movie (Tamil) in which Kamal Hassan spits out an endless list of "bhayams" i.e Fear!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCZIqlvZuWw&feature=PlayList&p=25C4EC7BB006BFD3&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=31
For each one of us, the so called "Fear" could be different...Fear of death,Fear of stage(the second most common fear), fear of speech, Fear of DOG, Fear of seniors (@ work & otherwise), Fear of .....blah blah blah...
But, what is the cause of this Fear? Where is it coming from? When did we start fearing something in our lives?
In my eternal search in answering these questions, i found something very interesting...
Fear is nothing but, Fantasies Experienced (&) Accepted (as) Real!
It's coming from our failures, our society, our surroundings, our experience...
The moment we experience something bad/not so likable which is not according to our expectations,the "fear" of "that" will root somewhere deep inside us...as the time moves, "that" will grow to a big tree! and now we are Sh** scared of "that"! This is the journey of "Fear" in us..
But,the good news is there is a solution for "that" Fear! - Face "that" :)
Fantasies Accepted (r) Challenged Endlessly!
Endlessly???
Yes. That's the bad news in the good news.
There are some fears which mite take a lifetime to completely overcome. So, the same needs to be challenged and tackled every time....
So, every time you are scared of stage, participate in a programme and perform on stage....every time you are scared at seeing a dog, relax and walk without inviting it with ur "fear" look...every time you are scared of doing something....do it...
Now...hold on...
U would have heard the term...God fearing.. What's that btw??
It should be God loving...Isn't it?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tamallishindi :)
Wondering what it is???
Well...Tamil + Malayalam + English + Hindi :)
Being a Tamil Iyer born and brought up in Kerala, i have the advantage of knowing Tamil & Malayalam very well....and the disadvantage of not knowing Hindi so well.
There are so many instances from which i have picked up various learning's regarding the usage of languages. But, this one was "just can't forget" sort of..
In one of my previous jobs, i worked as a customer service exec.
I take care of the walk-in customers - their queries,requests & complaints.
One fine day afternoon, a middle aged man with a thick specs and a thin beard walked in.He approached the counter and asked me "mujhe kuch doubts hein.Kis sae baath karna haein?"...(Being a Hindi handicapped person, i know this is what he asked, but i am not sure whether these are the words he used. So folks, grammatical mistakes are unavoidable (by me) & forgivable (by you))
So, the normally confident me is not so confident when it comes to Hindi. So, pretending to be confident, i said "Jee haan, aap mujsae pooch sakthae hein".( I stressed that hein part like my 7th std Hindi teacher)
There was a wide grin on his face, probably the reason being, i was intelligent enough to reply in Hindi and not in English.(or so i thought!)
So, he went on asking his doubts and i went on answering his doubts.
But,if u were an outsider, and watching this from the other side of the counter glass, u wud have felt that i am doing an action song( dancing & acting together) in front of this customer.
But, on this side of the glass, i was genuinely, seriously, horribly, terribly trying to convey my message in Hindi.
By the end of our conversation,I almost got exhausted by this uneventful attempt of mine.(my brain, my mind....)
Then, after clearing all the doubts, he handed over the cash to me. The poor me, handed over the cash to the cashier to enter it in the system. It so happened that the cashier was a Mallu. So i said.."Ligi, idhu enter cheythu kazhinjal, cash counter close cheyyam". (mathlap - Let's close the cash counter after this transaction)
Suddenly, i hear a beautiful,proper,rhythmic Malayalam!!! Any guess from whom??? From none other than our own Mr.Middle aged who made me write "ksha" in Hindi with my nose (mathlap- zimple - who gave me a tough time!)
Well, imagine my plight at the moment...I didn't know whether to be happy or sad or shocked or zombied!!!
But i had learnt my lesson - " Before replying in Hindi immediately ( and killing the language), check with the customer which are the languages he is comfortable with. The lady luck will always be with one language apart from Hindi!!!
Well...Tamil + Malayalam + English + Hindi :)
Being a Tamil Iyer born and brought up in Kerala, i have the advantage of knowing Tamil & Malayalam very well....and the disadvantage of not knowing Hindi so well.
There are so many instances from which i have picked up various learning's regarding the usage of languages. But, this one was "just can't forget" sort of..
In one of my previous jobs, i worked as a customer service exec.
I take care of the walk-in customers - their queries,requests & complaints.
One fine day afternoon, a middle aged man with a thick specs and a thin beard walked in.He approached the counter and asked me "mujhe kuch doubts hein.Kis sae baath karna haein?"...(Being a Hindi handicapped person, i know this is what he asked, but i am not sure whether these are the words he used. So folks, grammatical mistakes are unavoidable (by me) & forgivable (by you))
So, the normally confident me is not so confident when it comes to Hindi. So, pretending to be confident, i said "Jee haan, aap mujsae pooch sakthae hein".( I stressed that hein part like my 7th std Hindi teacher)
There was a wide grin on his face, probably the reason being, i was intelligent enough to reply in Hindi and not in English.(or so i thought!)
So, he went on asking his doubts and i went on answering his doubts.
But,if u were an outsider, and watching this from the other side of the counter glass, u wud have felt that i am doing an action song( dancing & acting together) in front of this customer.
But, on this side of the glass, i was genuinely, seriously, horribly, terribly trying to convey my message in Hindi.
By the end of our conversation,I almost got exhausted by this uneventful attempt of mine.(my brain, my mind....)
Then, after clearing all the doubts, he handed over the cash to me. The poor me, handed over the cash to the cashier to enter it in the system. It so happened that the cashier was a Mallu. So i said.."Ligi, idhu enter cheythu kazhinjal, cash counter close cheyyam". (mathlap - Let's close the cash counter after this transaction)
Suddenly, i hear a beautiful,proper,rhythmic Malayalam!!! Any guess from whom??? From none other than our own Mr.Middle aged who made me write "ksha" in Hindi with my nose (mathlap- zimple - who gave me a tough time!)
Well, imagine my plight at the moment...I didn't know whether to be happy or sad or shocked or zombied!!!
But i had learnt my lesson - " Before replying in Hindi immediately ( and killing the language), check with the customer which are the languages he is comfortable with. The lady luck will always be with one language apart from Hindi!!!
Maatha, Pithaa, Dheivam!!!
Wondering where guru is?
Well...unfortunately the current scenario is tempting me to knock off "guru" from the statement "Maatha, Pitha, Guru, Dheivam".
The number of psycho teachers punishing the student cases is increasing alarmingly in India.
There is not a single day without me (us) bumping in to atleast one such news of a teacher being gruesome to the students.
The punishment ranges from tonsuring the student's head to killing the innocent souls - (this extreme is not rare) :(
Such incidents make me believe that the real "taarae zameen par" stories may not be happening any more!
Still, i would like to hold on to my belief firmly... "Behind every one's sucess there is a good teacher"
Because, i owe my belief in myself to my 8th std class teacher - Miss.Revathy.
And i am sure, for all of you, there would have been one (atleast) teacher who gave you that belief.
But, what is happening currently is beyond our ability to swallow (forget digest!!!)
Such repeating "no-sense" incidents are becoming a nighmare to the parents as well.
Its high time, our education system "educate" teachers on how to deal with the students!
Else, these students will be like flowers in a monkey's hand!
Well...unfortunately the current scenario is tempting me to knock off "guru" from the statement "Maatha, Pitha, Guru, Dheivam".
The number of psycho teachers punishing the student cases is increasing alarmingly in India.
There is not a single day without me (us) bumping in to atleast one such news of a teacher being gruesome to the students.
The punishment ranges from tonsuring the student's head to killing the innocent souls - (this extreme is not rare) :(
Such incidents make me believe that the real "taarae zameen par" stories may not be happening any more!
Still, i would like to hold on to my belief firmly... "Behind every one's sucess there is a good teacher"
Because, i owe my belief in myself to my 8th std class teacher - Miss.Revathy.
And i am sure, for all of you, there would have been one (atleast) teacher who gave you that belief.
But, what is happening currently is beyond our ability to swallow (forget digest!!!)
Such repeating "no-sense" incidents are becoming a nighmare to the parents as well.
Its high time, our education system "educate" teachers on how to deal with the students!
Else, these students will be like flowers in a monkey's hand!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Decision by bread winner or bread eater?
Scene in late 1980's/early 1990's :
Mom - Dey, take this 20 rs. Go and get one Promise tooth paste.Keep the balance as pocket money..
Kiddo - Ok amma....(and goes out to "shop" happily making big plans with the "pocket money")
Scene in 2000's :
Mom - (takes the Colgate tooth paste from the supermarket tooth paste stacks)
Kiddo - Mom...Don't take this...Let's buy Pepsodent....I don't need to lie if i use Pepsodent..
Thanks to all the ads which include kids...for this change in the scenario...(I am sure u would have seen the ad which includes 2 kids and the caption "Kids don't need to lie")
"Washing powder Nirma...Washing powder Nirma..."
"I am a Complan boy...I am a Complan girl..."
As i recall,these were the first few ads which included kids in those times...
There were very few "kid celebrities".
But, today...kids are there in almost all the ads for "A-Z" products.
This definitely "influences" them.
I remember my marketing professor once referring to UK ad makers as one of the first to capitalize this strategy of influencing kids through ads to increase the sales of the products.
And the rest of the copy cats took the advantage of this "safe & proved" path!
But the question/point i wondered was,
Did these ads change the scenario
or
Did the change in the scenario compelled the ads to change???
Whatever it is, this "strategy" has hit the nail on the head..
Because grocery decisions are not made by bread winner alone anymore...(youngest) bread eater plays an important role as well!
Now...one final challenge for you... (I tried it and did not succeed)
In the next 10 seconds,recall one ad/brand (for toothbrush/toothpaste/washing powder) which do not include kids...:)
100 points if you get it right:)
Mom - Dey, take this 20 rs. Go and get one Promise tooth paste.Keep the balance as pocket money..
Kiddo - Ok amma....(and goes out to "shop" happily making big plans with the "pocket money")
Scene in 2000's :
Mom - (takes the Colgate tooth paste from the supermarket tooth paste stacks)
Kiddo - Mom...Don't take this...Let's buy Pepsodent....I don't need to lie if i use Pepsodent..
Thanks to all the ads which include kids...for this change in the scenario...(I am sure u would have seen the ad which includes 2 kids and the caption "Kids don't need to lie")
"Washing powder Nirma...Washing powder Nirma..."
"I am a Complan boy...I am a Complan girl..."
As i recall,these were the first few ads which included kids in those times...
There were very few "kid celebrities".
But, today...kids are there in almost all the ads for "A-Z" products.
This definitely "influences" them.
I remember my marketing professor once referring to UK ad makers as one of the first to capitalize this strategy of influencing kids through ads to increase the sales of the products.
And the rest of the copy cats took the advantage of this "safe & proved" path!
But the question/point i wondered was,
Did these ads change the scenario
or
Did the change in the scenario compelled the ads to change???
Whatever it is, this "strategy" has hit the nail on the head..
Because grocery decisions are not made by bread winner alone anymore...(youngest) bread eater plays an important role as well!
Now...one final challenge for you... (I tried it and did not succeed)
In the next 10 seconds,recall one ad/brand (for toothbrush/toothpaste/washing powder) which do not include kids...:)
100 points if you get it right:)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I wish there were more Potters....
Potters??? Of course... Harry Potters!!!!
I am sure that 99% of the readers would have read HP series...for the rest (unfortunate) of the bunch...HP is a boy who fights against all the odds in his life and succeeds in killing the dark/black magician Voldemort..I don't want to deviate from the main topic...so,that's the story outline of HP series just for u :)
Now...lets do a small flashback...(rolling a mosquitoes coil in front of u to get the movie effect)
Not so long ago...i.e...last year...some time in April..i was conducting a 2 days workshop on Interpersonal Effectiveness..
On the first day, i noticed one participant... moving his lips every now and then, looking at the ceiling,sometimes smiling without any reason.I started noticing it only during the second half of the first day...When i noticed it first time, i suddenly stopped my lecture and asked him (genuinely) whether he would like to share anything...he said..."me?" he looked both sides "no.."..so i continued with my session.
On the second day...i deliberately concentrated more on this participant...and it became very obvious that his actions were not "normal".So, during the break i approached him and told him what i have noticed. He rejected my observation very bluntly saying, i mite have felt that way. So, i said," i don't have anything to loose.But, if u act this way, in front of your manager during his presentation, it will affect your career. But, if u think, u need any help, would suggest you to consult a psychiatrist"...he didn't react and just walked off...
Post the session, he came to me and apologized. For what? For lying...
It seems, he has some sort of nervous disorder and that's the reason he is unable to control his lip movements & facial expressions...So, i asked, y should he be ashamed or hide this and not consult a doc. His answer shocked me...
He said "i know the reason for this problem. Some of my relatives have done some black magic and that's y i am like this. Moreover, if i go to psychiatrist, people will think i am mad!"
Flashback stops here...
This response really made me think about...
1) Our society's attitude towards getting professional counselling/help
2) Our beliefs in "black" magic
The first one is more of a serious issue compared to the second one. Not sure, when the people in our country will start being comfortable in getting professional help for mental trauma/issues? For such people...the only piece of suggestion would be "Live for you...Not for others".
For the second point...well...we are in 21st century...so..no more comments :(
I wish people like this guy turns out to be potters in real life to fight against the odds and kill the "black magics/Voldemorts" in their lives...
I am sure that 99% of the readers would have read HP series...for the rest (unfortunate) of the bunch...HP is a boy who fights against all the odds in his life and succeeds in killing the dark/black magician Voldemort..I don't want to deviate from the main topic...so,that's the story outline of HP series just for u :)
Now...lets do a small flashback...(rolling a mosquitoes coil in front of u to get the movie effect)
Not so long ago...i.e...last year...some time in April..i was conducting a 2 days workshop on Interpersonal Effectiveness..
On the first day, i noticed one participant... moving his lips every now and then, looking at the ceiling,sometimes smiling without any reason.I started noticing it only during the second half of the first day...When i noticed it first time, i suddenly stopped my lecture and asked him (genuinely) whether he would like to share anything...he said..."me?" he looked both sides "no.."..so i continued with my session.
On the second day...i deliberately concentrated more on this participant...and it became very obvious that his actions were not "normal".So, during the break i approached him and told him what i have noticed. He rejected my observation very bluntly saying, i mite have felt that way. So, i said," i don't have anything to loose.But, if u act this way, in front of your manager during his presentation, it will affect your career. But, if u think, u need any help, would suggest you to consult a psychiatrist"...he didn't react and just walked off...
Post the session, he came to me and apologized. For what? For lying...
It seems, he has some sort of nervous disorder and that's the reason he is unable to control his lip movements & facial expressions...So, i asked, y should he be ashamed or hide this and not consult a doc. His answer shocked me...
He said "i know the reason for this problem. Some of my relatives have done some black magic and that's y i am like this. Moreover, if i go to psychiatrist, people will think i am mad!"
Flashback stops here...
This response really made me think about...
1) Our society's attitude towards getting professional counselling/help
2) Our beliefs in "black" magic
The first one is more of a serious issue compared to the second one. Not sure, when the people in our country will start being comfortable in getting professional help for mental trauma/issues? For such people...the only piece of suggestion would be "Live for you...Not for others".
For the second point...well...we are in 21st century...so..no more comments :(
I wish people like this guy turns out to be potters in real life to fight against the odds and kill the "black magics/Voldemorts" in their lives...
Monday, January 18, 2010
You are (NOT) what your color is...
There are only 2 species of human beings - Fair skinned & Dark skinned!
Let me explain...
I was watching an old tamil movie today..a devotional one in which 3 godess (Lakshmi, Parvathi & Saraswathi) are fighting to prove that they are the best of the three.Parvathi-the godess of courage blesses a coward guy and with her blessings, this guy turns out to be a courageous man and finally ends up becoming the king of that kingdom.And at the end aal izzz wel...
But, the funniest part was...this guy was dark skinned till he was blessed by the godess...post that he turned out to be fair skinned and courageous...
No clue y the director thought that the guy should be fair skinned to be courageous!!!
The bias is not only in the movie...
Whichever matrimony ad i come across...always the bride should be fair...and i think thats not at all fair!!!
I never knew this unfair fair bias will affect even the new borns...Being a brand new mom, i experienced it recently...After the common question of is it a boy or girl...the next common question/comment will be related to the color...compare the baby with his mom's color,dad's color,grand parents color, cousins color, neighbours kids color....the list is never ending....
I think this world will be a better place...if people are not worried so much about skin color...after all what is there in a color maaamooo???
But...alas!!! That's an impossible dream!!!
That's y i am saying...
There are only 2 species of human beings...Fair skinned and Dark skinned :)
Let me explain...
I was watching an old tamil movie today..a devotional one in which 3 godess (Lakshmi, Parvathi & Saraswathi) are fighting to prove that they are the best of the three.Parvathi-the godess of courage blesses a coward guy and with her blessings, this guy turns out to be a courageous man and finally ends up becoming the king of that kingdom.And at the end aal izzz wel...
But, the funniest part was...this guy was dark skinned till he was blessed by the godess...post that he turned out to be fair skinned and courageous...
No clue y the director thought that the guy should be fair skinned to be courageous!!!
The bias is not only in the movie...
Whichever matrimony ad i come across...always the bride should be fair...and i think thats not at all fair!!!
I never knew this unfair fair bias will affect even the new borns...Being a brand new mom, i experienced it recently...After the common question of is it a boy or girl...the next common question/comment will be related to the color...compare the baby with his mom's color,dad's color,grand parents color, cousins color, neighbours kids color....the list is never ending....
I think this world will be a better place...if people are not worried so much about skin color...after all what is there in a color maaamooo???
But...alas!!! That's an impossible dream!!!
That's y i am saying...
There are only 2 species of human beings...Fair skinned and Dark skinned :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Compliments!!!
Scenario 1
Person 1 - Hey Person 2, u look awesome in this dress da...
Person 2 - Oh...really? this is one of my oldest dresses....
Scenario 2
Person 1 - Hey, Person 2, nice dress...this suits u very well...
Person 2 - Oh.....this costs just 200 rs da...got it from some bazaar...
How many times have you come across such a situation? You could have been in person 1 or 2 position...But, i will bite my ears if u say "never" to my question here....
Of course...i have encountered this situation n number of times (stopped counting after a point of time...thats y saying n)...Was reacting like person 2 till i was enlightened by the assertive thought of "why the hell am i not saying thank you to these compliments?"
Hold on...what am i trying to say? Simple...
Let us learn to say thank you to the compliments rather than being shy and justifying the compliment with some silly dialogues...
Now, why am i saying this? Again simple...
If we start saying thank you to the compliments without unnecessarily questioning the intention of the giver,
1) it makes our life easier
2) removes so called inferiority complex
3) increases confidence
Woh woh woh...don't take this to the extent u r thinking right now...ie "what if the giver thinks that i am proud, if i just say thank you"?? Here...my answer is...such a person doesn't know you :) so....chill!!!
Person 1 - Hey Person 2, u look awesome in this dress da...
Person 2 - Oh...really? this is one of my oldest dresses....
Scenario 2
Person 1 - Hey, Person 2, nice dress...this suits u very well...
Person 2 - Oh.....this costs just 200 rs da...got it from some bazaar...
How many times have you come across such a situation? You could have been in person 1 or 2 position...But, i will bite my ears if u say "never" to my question here....
Of course...i have encountered this situation n number of times (stopped counting after a point of time...thats y saying n)...Was reacting like person 2 till i was enlightened by the assertive thought of "why the hell am i not saying thank you to these compliments?"
Hold on...what am i trying to say? Simple...
Let us learn to say thank you to the compliments rather than being shy and justifying the compliment with some silly dialogues...
Now, why am i saying this? Again simple...
If we start saying thank you to the compliments without unnecessarily questioning the intention of the giver,
1) it makes our life easier
2) removes so called inferiority complex
3) increases confidence
Woh woh woh...don't take this to the extent u r thinking right now...ie "what if the giver thinks that i am proud, if i just say thank you"?? Here...my answer is...such a person doesn't know you :) so....chill!!!
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