My one night stand!

Love; A magical feeling which has the power to make, break and transform the living beings.

Yes. I love to love.
But...I have never experienced the so called "love at first sight".

…..Until yesterday.

There are some moments in our lives which make us smile or cry in an intense way whenever we visit those memories. And there are some, which make us wonder...

Well...I went through an experience which made me love, laugh, cry and wonder, all at the same time! At the end of it I was moved beyond I can express.

Yesterday, I was on my way back to Bangalore after a short vacation with my family.

As we stopped our car near a gas station, we saw a man dropping a puppy on the NH (National Highway) road and getting in to a car in a hurried way. Without wasting a second, the car moved on.

To our shock, the puppy ran behind the moving car as fast as and as far as, it could.

Then it stopped. Right on the middle of the road.

As it struggled to cross or come back to the side of the road, many speeding vehicles had to put sudden break to avoid hitting this little scared fellow.

As we couldn’t bear this sight, we decided to go and put him back to a safe place somewhere nearby that road.We went with some biscuits to cajole it to walk towards a safe path.

As I approached it, I noticed its features. With beautiful silky brown haired skin, scared big black eyes, perfect sharp teeth & long nails, small but soft tail, this brown beauty looked so adorable.

It seemed too scared to notice any food we were giving. It just came running behind us as we started moving towards our car.

For a moment, I wondered…what next?

That’s when I heard my 5 year old son’s confident voice “Amma, just pick it up. I think you can do it”

Well...“I was shit scared”; would be an understatement. (underer? underest statement?)

Flashback : I have always been afraid of animals, especially dogs! (Thanks to a childhood memory of a dog chasing me and me running for my life J). Wherever & whenever I see a dog around me, I freeze. My family of origin loathed dogs. My current family has seen dogs on the streets, neighborhood and movies. Period.

Summary - I do not have a clue on how to lift a dog, what to feed it, how to confirm its gender (not joking!), how to escape from a bite and more importantly, how not to freeze when a dog is around.

So, when I heard my son’s voice, I didn’t know what to do. I realized that the more I stand there and think, the more I am going to get scared (as if a scared puppy is not enough in this scene!)

I lifted it, settled down in our car and we continued our journey.

Needless to say, I had severe palpitations every time it moved on my lap or it yawned (Mind you, I was still learning that puppies have the right to show their teeth even when they are not biting)

Meanwhile, I got in touch with Smita, a friend of mine whom I know loves animals unconditionally and cares for them compassionately. She confirmed the availability of the space for this puppy in a shelter home. The only problem was, it was too far for us to drop it on the same day as we were still on our way back to Bangalore. So, we decided to let the puppy stay with us last night.

When we reached home, to say the least, what followed was a circus. A circus with one puppy and 3 ring masters (me, my hubby and our son) who didn't have a clue of what to do with the puppy.

As a mother, I could sense it naturally when Fluffy (name courtesy : our son) was scared or hungry. So, I decided to be with Fluffy and do a "mom-baby" conversation at night to put him to sleep. And it so happened, Fluffy and I had a beautiful night together getting to know each other better (Thanks to all the tips from my friends through whats app on "how to handle a 2 months old puppy?")

Fluffy slept on my lap and refused to get down till morning(ahem...ahem..I refused to put it down). I started admiring its grace every minute move.

To my surprise, by the time we handed over Fluffy to the CARE shelter's staff, I had developed a deep emotional connection with Fluffy...a connection which I can't express, emote or explain.

Fluffy's scared face, Smita's excellent support, CARE shelter centre's compassionate service, family circus, my "mom-baby" bonding time with Fluffy, my son's laughter whenever I jumped on to a chair to avoid getting "frozen", last few minutes with Fluffy before handing it over, my last kiss to Fluffy...

Must say, the whole experience had been an emotional roller coaster...

Fluffy's love has transformed me. And it happened in one night.

I still wonder.....

Is Fluffy a girl or a boy?

 

 

Power of E

Well...

Let me start by putting things in to perspective - I am a humanist and not a feminist.

Now...over to my latest experience.

I was recently invited as a guest speaker on women's day to address women Chartered Accountants in Karnataka.

The topic I was supposed to talk was "Empowering self for multi-tasking".

Prior to the event, I was preparing the speech at home.

That's when my husband causally asked me : "So, what is the topic?"

I said - "Empowering self for multi-tasking".

He said : "Why empowering? Why not enabling?"

I thought to myself : "Yeah...why not enabling?"

This conversation really made me think.

Though "enabling" is a synonym in the MS word & outlook for "empowering", I did think that it makes more sense to use "enabling" instead of "empowering".

During the event, I started my speech by setting this as the context and spoke about ensuring the support system (personal & professional) by leveraging our ability to communicate, prioritizing by saying no wherever applicable, setting short term & long term goals by identifying our strengths and learning & unlearning by letting it go.

I have been fortunate enough to witness quite a number of successful women in my life - ranging from a go-getter leader with an ability to command respect across the hierarchy in an organization to a photojournalist fighting for the sexual rights of the minority group like trans genders; from an entrepreneur who is successfully running her theatre group to a born orator who shines as a mother/ TV journalist/ party planner; from a single mother who stood up for her believes while bringing up her kids to an extremely positive home maker who can make CEOs run for their money!

When I awe at all these women around me and ask myself....so, how did they make it happen?

The answer I get is...

They just believed they are Empowered. This Enabled them to chase their dreams!









 

My Dearest Sakhi

Sustainability, Global warming, Climate change, Plastic usage, Save water, Save trees....

Like many of you, I also literally switch off my listening mode (and brain) when these words  are used in a conversation that I am part of. Mind you, not that i don't understand. I just don't care!

Well...didn't care.

Till this morning.

The theatre group I am part of were invited to perform a street play, as part of the "Bangalore Tree Festival". As a part of the practice for the play, there were loads of discussions around the repercussions of using plastic, ill-effects of cutting down the trees, what should we do to handle these, how do we go about it...so on and so forth.

The entire theatre experience had planted a strong seed of thought in me - about the way I am taking all these for granted. There were many questions in me that I was not yet willing to address.

But, the thought reached its peak, shook my conscious and made me shrink in shame today, when...

...I got to hug a tree!

As part of an on the spot dance workshop, the participants were asked to hug a tree for 3 minutes.

I laughed when I heard it first.
I approached a tree thinking - "I am definitely going to look silly!"

Well..

Those 3 minutes turned out to be one of the most beautiful moments of my life!
Something in me changed in those 3 minutes...

I felt as if that tree accommodated me so well, in spite of its texture, shape and size.
I felt as if I was taken in to the arms of someone who was determined to protect me for my life.
I felt as if that tree was the most selfless human being, I have ever come across.
I felt as if I am safe in those arms and branches.
I felt as if I am loved unconditionally by a stranger.

I also felt ashamed. Bad. Angry. Sad.

To my surprise, I didn't feel like parting that tree! I didn't feel silly about hugging a tree anymore!

Then, I had to give the tree a name, as part of the workshop.
I chose Sakhi, an eternal friend - considering all her attributes.

My dearest Sakhi - you are still haunting me...

The question in me still remains - What have I done to deserve you?




























 

Sense of anger!

Yes...you heard it right! Haven't you heard of sense of humor?  Something like that!

Daniel Goleman starts his book “Emotional Intelligence” by quoting Aristotle - "Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy".

I have always been awed by this statement, not just for the powerful message it doles out but also the way it seeks to mock our ‘sense of anger’.

Reading & learning is one thing; witnessing someone who lives by this quote and learning through that experience is completely a different thing!

In 2003, when I was working as a credit card sales person in the banking industry, I had to go and meet people - entrepreneurs, salaried employees & corporates to sell the cards.

Once, I had the opportunity to meet a middle aged women entrepreneur to sell the card. She was in her mid 40s. A very well dressed, well spoken, educated female who was successfully running her own family business.

It was a successful sales call. She agreed to buy the card. I got her signature on the required documents. I had to get the photocopy of her PAN card as a proof document. As she didn't have a copy, I offered to help her in getting the photocopy of the document. (I really wanted to close this sales call, on the same day).

It took me 10 minutes by walk to reach the nearby shop to photocopy the document. I got the document photocopied, paid the shopkeeper, collected the documents and started walking back to her office. As I was about to reach her office, I quickly checked the documents to ensure that everything is intact.

To my shock/surprise I couldn't find the original copy of her PAN card. I stopped immediately and checked the documents again. Nope! The original PAN card wasn't there. I was in a complete state of panic.

I rushed to the shop to check whether I have misplaced the card there. The shopkeeper searched everywhere possible and confirmed that the card is not there.

I started looking for the card on the walk path. I turned every stone, I moved every sand, hoping to see the card somewhere on the path near the road!

I went back and forth that path - from her office to that shop at least 10 times. Yet, no trace of the card!

The fear started gripping me more and more - Oh God!  "I HAVE LOST HER PAN CARD"!

The sense of guilt and shame stopped me from going back to her office to meet her. I could not imagine the thought of looking in to her eyes and telling her that I have lost her card! I was hoping for a miracle to happen! A miracle,  that could save me from that moment of truth!

I waited on the road for 10 more minutes for the miracle to happen! Well...Nothing happened!

I was not sure whether I wanted to cry first or hit myself first.

So, I decided to go back to her office! Did I have a choice?

I reached her office. My heart started beating faster as I approached her. She looked at me, smiled at me kindly; My heart melted! I felt more ashamed! I felt more scared!

I told her. I didn't explain what happened, how it happened. I just told her! For a minute, she didn't react. I waited for what was to come next.

Then she smiled at me and said "Hmmm...I am thinking, what needs to be done now to apply for a new card. I know that you wouldn't have done intentionally. I also know that you are feeling really bad about it already. The least I want to do is to make you feel even worse!"

What??? Did she really react the way she just did? I couldn't stop myself from asking (thanks to the nagging guilt and the thought that "I definitely deserve a punishment!")

Me - "Are you not angry with me? Don't you feel like shouting at me?"

She continued to look at me with a smile and asked - "Will it help me in getting my lost card?"

Me (my eyes opened as wide as possible) - "How is it even possible for you to react like this?"

Graciously - She answered "I ask myself - What is my intention when I express my anger? Is it to make the other person feel bad? Is it to make the other person realize that his/her actions are wrong? Is it to solve the issue I have now? In this case, you are already feeling bad and you know that what you did was not correct, so, I am directly focusing on the issue! Trust me - in most of the cases, the other person involved in the issue would have already realized the mistake and felt the guilt. So, all I have to do is focus on the solution!"

Wow! Thank you ma'm for teaching me the lesson of my life.