I Believe...

Recently, I was invited by an IT organization in Bangalore, to talk on “Women empowerment”.

 

What is women empowerment?

 

I asked this question to 15 people. I got 15 different answers.

 

That’s when I realized, though we have heard this term so many times before, it means different things to different people – of course, driven by their own experiences.

 

To me, it is about “Belief in self” – Hence, I spoke about how to empower ourselves as an individual, as a leader and as a citizen.

 

Apart from very few nuances which are gender specific (eg- female gender’s need to interact more with the ecosystem), the concept of empowerment is very much the same for all the genders.

 

For many, empowering is about someone else empowering them. Someone else, approving us as “good” “bad” “ugly”.

 

But to me, the moment you start believing in yourself and allowing yourself to do what you believe in – that’s empowerment.

 

And it is very individualistic.

 

For some people, they would empower themselves for a family cause. For others it would be for a social cause. For yet another group it would be an individual cause. It would be a combination of all these for many.

 

Why do you want to get empowered? To do what? Would it make you happy?

 

Every individual will need to decide for self on this, not because, someone else thinks “That is the right way of life”.

Because, this individual believes, that, this is his/her way of life.

 

Is it difficult? Of course, yes! But not, impossible!

 

Are you empowering yourself to believe it?

The Butterfly effect!

Nope...I am not talking about the Quantum physics' Butterfly effect. I am talking about the effect, a butterfly had on me :-)

I was on my way to the Psychotherapy class this morning...I was tired, thoughtful and anxiously looking forward to the class that I love. After a restless night due to my son's disturbed sleep, I was not sure, whether I would really be energetic through out the day.

As I was riding my Honda activa (bike), I suddenly felt something hitting my neck. Something very light in weight.

I looked at the rear mirror and didn't see anything. So, I continued to ride.

In the next traffic signal when I stopped the vehicle I looked down and noticed one butterfly trying to climb up my dress towards my lap.

It looked as if, it was really trying hard to climb. Unfortunately, my dress was too slippery to climb.

For a minute I could feel my heart pumping faster, as I was thrilled to see a butterfly on me.

Unsure about the next action, I slowly reached out to it and offered my thumb.

What if it comes to my hand? What a wishful thinking!

Oh My God!

It just easily slipped to my thumb. I just couldn't hold my smile (BIG). I was overwhelmed.

I carefully raised my hand to my eye level as I didn't want to scare it. I removed my helmet with the right hand as this butterfly continued to stay on my left hand's thumb.

Its then that I noticed its beauty. It had 2 beautiful chocolate brown wings with yellow polka dots.

I couldn't believe that this brownie beauty was just staying on my thumb.

This moment took me to a peak of joy and made me smile from my heart.

I couldn't help it. I whispered "Thank you".

It started fluttering its wings as if it got my message and slowly started flying away from me.

As I looked up to bid good bye to this brownie, the reality struck me.

People around me in the traffic signal were gaping at me as if it was a heroine's introduction scene in a kolly/tolly/bollywood movie!!!

Well....

The effect which this butterfly had on me? I would call it "Divine"!!!







 

Corporate Thamasha

Shankar knocked the door twice...little apprehensively at first...then, little strongly.

Before he was about to knock the third time, he heard from Raghav - "Come in..."

While entering the room, Shankar gave a polite head nod and said "Hello"

Raghav - "Take your seat and give me a minute, Shankar. Let me quickly send this mail and catch up with you"

Shankar gave another polite head nod and said (as he cleared his throat) - Sure, Sir.

Clock went on ticking....1 minute, 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes...............13 minutes.

Shankar mentally counted the number of  Achievement Certificates displayed in Raghav's room. "12 certificates? Wow! So, every year he has managed to get 2 certificates in the last 6 years in this organization??? Hmmmmm"

After counting the number of certificates mentally and brilliantly reaching a concluding question, he started reading the text on the certificates, "Best employee of the year", "Most valuable contributor", "Best innovator", "Howzzaat award", "Best Talent Leader", "Most admired vendor partner", "Li......

"So, what brings you here, Shankar?" - Shankar's text reading was interrupted by Raghav's terrific managerial voice.

"Well sir.......had been thinking about having this conversation with you for a while....."

Another interruption from Raghav -"I completely understand that you are very upset with the appraisal rating. While, I know you are not ok with it, I want you to understand the fact that I have given you what I could do best"

"But, Sir....I really need to..."

Unintentional interruption from Raghav - "Yes, I do see where you are coming from. But, you see, we need to go by Organization's policy.I admire you as an employee. But,when it comes to performance rating, I need to be really professional"

"I do understand, Sir. But, I wanted to ....."

"Come on yaar. .Our life is full of ups and downs. We need to learn from it and move on rather than sitting on it. You just work on your communication skills and customer service skills. I am sure, it will help you to get a better rating next year. Challenge yourself. That's the best way to improve your performance"

"Sir, i don't think......."

"The problem i see with you young folks these days is, you are very short term oriented. All the dreams cannot be achieved in single day. It takes step by step effort to achieve it. Hope you get it. Oh...by the way, I have a client call now. So, can we talk later?"

Shankar got up and walked towards the door.

" Shankar, Are you ok? I hope our conversation helped" - (Raghav couldn't help but, show his kind and caring nature)

Shankar turned towards Raghav - "I came to inform you about my decision to quit and invite you for my wedding in the coming month, Sir. Yes, this conversation really helped. It just reassured that I have taken the right decision. Thank you Sir.".

Shankar opened the door and before exiting the room, he turned towards Raghav and asked, "Sir, are you ok????"

Twinkling Little Stars

I saw so many of them...Twinkling, Bright, Tiny - Puny, Beautiful, Charming, Shouting, Crying, Pleading, Fussing.....Well, I am talking about the peers of my 3 year old son on his School Annual Day.

As the Inauguration time approached, I saw few stars crying for Chocolate/Biscuit, few refusing to go behind the stage, few petrified because of this large gathering, and few sleeping and snoring away to glory.

By the time program started, all the parents had succeeded in putting their kids on to the back stage for their respective performances.

From Singing Heal The World to dancing to the tune of Salaam Namaste, From enacting as Cap seller and the Monkeys to tapping foot for Baaji Baaji Bambo.... it was an action packed, nonstop entertainment!

In a singing performance, of the 15 kids on the stage, only one girl sang. Post performing when almost the entire crew left the stage, that’s when one shining star realized, that she has not yet sung. So, she started arranging the mike. But, it was too late!

In another dance performance, all the 5 kids on the stage refused to move even one step (and bum). So, from beginning to end, all the kids were staring at the audience.

In yet another dance performance, one kid came running on to the stage and returned in the same speed. We did not see him on the stage after that. I could see from the side of the stage that the teacher was pleading, cajoling, pretending to be angry and trying all the techniques possible to make him join the others on the stage. But, he profusely refused!

Another little star was happily dancing on the stage with her peers, till her over excited parents called (shouted) her name from the audience....BOOM! Tears started flowing from her eyes like an opened water dam! Sorry parents....the damage is done already!

My fellow came on to the stage and gave some very funny expressions with an intention of letting us know that he is not too pleased with the flash light. And he completed the entire dance performance standing on the same spot without looking either side. All the gestures were spot on! And his foot too was spot on!

As a parent, I was over whelmed with emotions to see our "grown up little stars" facing the entire crowd, recalling the entire steps and trying to do their level best...and i realized that each and every parent in that room would have gone through the same.

Who said, nobody is perfect?

These kids are perfect...in their innocence, expressions and ability to make people around them happy!

Yeah….for me, I got to revisit my childhood days through this experience. And enjoyed every bit of it!






 

Let me pause........

Over the last few days....all of us are flooded with messages in social networking sites and in any get together conversations. Emotional messages. Thoughtful messages. Provoking messages. Intuitive messages......all about violence against women.

I happened to participate in a peace march and an awareness workshop on Violence Against Women.

Experts and Social workers came and spoke about self-defense, their experiences on working in this space and the experiences of the victims they work with.

Lots of gruesome/horrific/horrendous (list is endless) real life stories of rape, violence, molest, sex trafficking and any other possible assault.

After hearing all these, I was wondering, what is that I can do? Is there anything at all that I can do?

The debate of "Will system change the society or society changes the system?" is never ending.

But the fact is - every victim has the potential to be an assaulter later. And every assaulter can create 100 victims later.

How do i stop? Where do I start?...lots of unorganized, haywire thoughts going on in my mind.

Few points that I can do/influence are:

1) Don't just sit and crib about the system - Legal/political. It is not helping any one. It is not changing anything.

2) If I really want to make it happen, I need to start from my family, as it is very much within my circle of influence. - Teach my kid to respect every human being irrespective of caste, gender, social status, educational background. Respect and behaving gently goes hand in hand.So, Respect...that’s everything. And that’s what is lacking big time today.

3) Break the "social wiring" and the "gender stereotypes" in my mind and help break this in anyone in my social circle.

4) Don't be a spectator. Yeah...i agree. It’s fun. But, it’s a spineless job. So,I will do my bit in whatever way i can - Help an orphanage, sponsor orphans, teach the under privileged kids, tell them how wonderful they are, spread awareness about crimes, educate women on self-defense, feed one meal to a beggar I come across.....it could be any damn thing that I come across!

5) Give the freedom to kids in the house to talk about sex. Depending on the age of the kid, parents should choose the level of conversation , that their kids can have with them. But, it cannot be a "no-no" topic anymore in the family circle.

6) Getting emotional about the "helplessness" and the corruption in the system, will not lead anywhere. So, think rational on "what is that I can do?" which is more important than, "why is the system not changing?" question (more productive too!)

7) Spread the awareness as much as possible...whenever, wherever.

8) Last...but, not the least....don’t expect others to change....unless I change!

Yeah....by doing all these, i may not see a better world in my life time. But, my grandchildren may!

If I can be even a drop in an ocean to make this world better for them, I would say.......

Yes! I have lived my life!




 

Believe it or not!

At times, we come across certain experiences which will leave us wondering "Did it really happen?" "Oh My God! I just can't believe it". Such experiences may not have any logical explanation. But, at the end, it will make us believe in miracles. Yeah! Miracles do happen!

I came across a freaking but interesting experience a few years back.

One Saturday night, after a late dinner, I was on my way back home with one of my friends.

My friend was riding my honda activa and I was the pillion passenger.

It was 11.45 at night.

We were only half way through when suddenly without any forewarning, my good old vehicle stopped abruptly.

I did try with all my energy (imagining my manager in its place) to kick start it. But, like my manager, my vehicle also refused to listen to my request. After a few turns of "I will try it", "Now, let me try"....both of us had to digest the reality! The reality was - No gas/petrol!

Well...cursing my memory (for not filling in the gas) and our late night dinner plan, both of us started dragging the vehicle.

Though a gas station was there within 5 minutes from the place where we stopped, they were closed that night to our dismay.

So, we went on walking slowly dragging our non-working turbo engine.

After 10 minutes, both of us were too exhausted to carry on further.

And, we had not seen a single auto rikshaw passing our way till then....We were yet to cover half of the distance! We started feeling "depressed" (Read it as sad!)!

Due to my childhood contamination behaviour, i said my usual "when-in-distress-dialogue" - "Gannu...(referring to my favorite God - Ganapathy), I will pay you 5 rupees....Please help us now! Pls"

Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................

Me - "Did I hear any sound?"

My friend - "I think so....."

DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.......

A two wheeler came and stopped near us...I couldn't see the rider's face as he was wearing an helmet. (It was not mandatory to wear helmet then...but, still......)

Samaritan in Helmet - "What happened? Out of petrol?"

We - "YES".

Samaritan in Helmet -  "Don't worry, I normally carry a bottle of petrol with me. So, will give that to you"

He got down from his vehicle. Opened his seater and took out the bottle and came near us. Took the key from me. Opened our vehicle seater. Open the lid of the petrol tank. Poured the petrol. Closed the lid. Closed the seater. Returned the key to me. Went back to his vehicle.Started his vehicle engine.

All this while, both of us were so petrified (for whatever reasons!) and were watching him to just get a glance of his face. Interestingly, we couldn't see any features, clearly. And he didn't bother to take off his helmet.

As he started his vehicle, we came back to our senses and said "Thanks a ton, Sir. How much do we need to pay you?"

Samaritan in Helmet (Smiled, or so i guessed) - "No need to pay any money. You take care. Good Night"

And...He just rode off.....

Now....how many times, do we come across people, who carry petrol with them? Of them, how many will share the petrol with others for free? Of those, how many will not even bother to show their face?

Well...remember???  .....Miracles do happen!














 

Realistic Encounter

He was not sure whether she is acting as if she doesn’t care or she really doesn’t care

“What happened to my Mahi whose world used to revolve around me?

Why can’t she sense my needs?

Why doesn’t she understand I am still the same old Kish? Her own Kish?”


“Stop craving for more Kish! Don’t you see?? She is busy with the kids!!”

“Kids! Kids! Kids!!! Bloody hell!!! They are mine as well!!!!”

“I know…but, she takes care of the kids…she doesn’t have time for you…do understand!”

“What about me? Does she think I don’t need to be taken care of?”

“Why don’t you talk to her rather than talking to me?”

“Yeah! I am going to do that…its now or never!”

“YES!”

**************************************

Kish – Mahi…I want to talk to you….

Mahi – Hmmm…Even I want to tell you something

Kish – (with increasing heart beat) I don’t think, as a couple, we have it in us anymore…I want to care for you..I love you…But, I don’t think you care!

Mahi – (with her wide eyes) What? Are u telling me that I don’t care??? My life revolves around u and these kids…and u are saying I don’t care? V fuuny!

Kish – Well….i do know that u care for our kids…but, what about me? For god sake….do understand my point!

Mahi – All my life, I have tried to understand you, Kish…Now for God sake, you better understand my point!

Kish – Ok…what is your point? That you want to divorce? To see another man? To enjoy your life? What …what??? Spit out out!!!!!!!




“Kish…Kish…KISH…….Stop screaming!!!!! what happened???????? Wake up!!!! Wake up!!!!! And get ready fast… we have our first appointment with the Gynec, at 11 AM! I am all thrilled!!!”

Kish opened his eyes to see a wide eyed, smiling and beautiful Mahi who is 2 months pregnant with their first child.